No,I haven’t quit blogging. I still remember I have a blog site. There is no particular reason why I wasn’t writing. In fact I don’t know ! There were enough reasons to write, many inspirations, few of my readers asking me why haven’t I posted from long, is good enough a motivation to write. What I know is, that I was lost,for sometime, the real me was somewhere lost !! And before the year ends, I want to speak these out and dump such memories and go forward with new hopes and positivity.
The last few months, things were not favourable for me. Some problem, or the other kept me preoccupied. Before one was solved, others started knocking at my door.
First the harassment case, yes I was a victim of psychological harassment by the college canteen vendor. And I spoke up, and stood for it. Unlike as described in Shenaz Tresurywala’s open letter http://www.indicine.com/movies/bollywood/shenaz-treasurywalas-open-letter-to-pm-bachchan-srk-salman-and-aamir/ There were many people who supported me, helped me and were always by my side. But there were also few, who thought that it was fake, and asked me stupid , annoying questions like, “Really ?”, ” But he is very good yaar ” , “Are you sure”. I wonder why would any girl want such news to be spread about her !! And neither do I want publicity , I already have enough, positively and negatively 😛 It doesn’t stop here, some people made a joke out of it, some blamed my over friendliness as the reason for it. Ya, I am friendly, but I don’t wear a “Free Hugs” or “Hug me” board and roam around.
Then, there were other problems. I was suffering from insomnia, couldn’t sleep for days, even after trying to sleep for hours. After 2 weeks I was so frustrated and totally broke down. But I identified the root-cause, and cured it. 🙂
The worst and most recent, my father got a paralysis attack during my semester end exams. I had four back to back exams, and couldn’t even meet him when he was hospitalized. I wanted to be with him, support him but couldn’t. I managed my exams somehow. I am really grateful to this one friend of mine, Parita who supported me throughout, and I was able to give my exams, only because of her.
Lack of sleep, and stress worsened my upper respiratory track infection and it led to severe nose bleeding !!
Because of all these and many little things, I was lost, I stopped interacting with people. From being a girl who initiates a conversation, I became someone who started running from people. I started wearing specs so that people cannot see my eyes, the dark-circles and the pain. I stopped caring for myself. From a girl who used to eat every 2 hours, I used to starve for hours !! A girl who loved taking selifes so much that I actually roam with a selfie stick, I started hating the camera !!
I was lost… but now when I look back, I wonder why did I take so much stress, why did I stop loving myself. Why was I so worried about the future !! I was feeling , and questioning luck , destiny, faith , that “Why me?”
But then I realized that everything eventually is solved. Most of our worries are about things beyond our control, so why waste time and energy for it.
I now have no regrets and I am proud of how I was strong and handled everything. I am having my last continuous holidays of college, and maybe of my life. I am spending it with my family, enjoying quality family time which I was missing since when. I am devoting all my time for Dad.
I also realized that I am so blessed and lucky to have some wonderful people in my life, who were like my extended family and helped me find myself. I am the same Prakriti now as I was, a person who loves herself, is very positive and lively. I never thought I would suffer from serious stress , insomnia and etc.
But Hard times do make better people. And as Robin Sharma says, ” We need to get off the track before we can develop clarity to be on track”.
I would like to thank all of them, who knowingly or unknowingly helped me in finding myself, supported me, reminded me of my strong self or just gave me a listening ear. Also, I would not want any of my friend to lose their real self because of the problems and worries…
Love yourself and Never Lose yourself
Straight from My Heart,